What Happens When You Stop Asking for Permission
- Kelly McCooeye
- May 12
- 3 min read
I spent a lot of years waiting for someone to tell me I was allowed.
Allowed to want what I wanted.
Allowed to feel what I felt.
Allowed to choose differently, even if it disappointed someone else.
In the world I came from, obedience was a virtue. Feelings were suspicious. And if your instincts didn’t align with the “right” answer? That was just temptation trying to lead you astray.
So I learned to ask for permission.
Not out loud, of course, but in that constant background loop of second-guessing:
“Is this okay?”
“Is this too much?”
“What will they think?”
“Am I sure I’m not just being emotional?”
The day I stopped asking for permission wasn’t some loud, defiant moment.
It was quiet.
Tender.
Kind of like coming home to a part of me I’d been avoiding.
It was the moment I realized that my emotions weren’t the problem.
They were the map.
They’d been whispering the truth to me all along.
I just didn’t know how to trust them yet.
Reclaiming Your Power Starts Here
When you stop asking for permission, here’s what really happens:
You stop outsourcing your wisdom.
It’s not that you suddenly know everything. But you realize the answer isn’t out there. It’s in your body. It’s in your grief, your gut, your joy. You stop editing your truth to make others more comfortable and start honoring the inner voice that’s been there all along.
You stop seeing emotion as weakness.
You stop trying to “logic” your way through a soul-led life. You stop stuffing down your feelings to appear strong, and start letting those feelings guide you toward truth, toward alignment, toward healing.
Emotions aren’t in the way - they are the way.
You stop living like life is happening to you.
This part takes practice. And compassion. Because it means sitting with the hard stuff and asking:
What gift are you here to offer me?
What truth are you trying to uncover?
Who am I choosing to become through this?
This is what people mean when they say, “It’s happening for you, not to you.” It’s not just a mindset; it’s a shift in embodiment. A willingness to be with yourself in the depths instead of trying to bypass your way into power.
The Truth Most People Don’t Tell You
It’s not the world that has to give you permission.
It’s you.
And most of us aren’t waiting for a green light. We’re waiting to feel safe enough to move. To trust that we’re not crazy, that our emotions are not liabilities, and that our desires aren’t wrong.
But here’s the reframe that changed everything for me:
Power isn’t about controlling your life.It’s about choosing to own it.
Even the messy parts.
Even the regrets.
Even the hard decisions.
When you do that, the shame quiets.
The second-guessing softens.
And you finally start to hear yourself again.
Not Sure Where to Begin?
This is where we start.
Not with another book or affirmation.
With a conversation.
My Alignment Audit is a 60-minute session where we cut through the noise and get honest about what’s actually out of alignment, and what to do about it. You’ll leave with real clarity, not more things to “figure out.”
It’s your chance to stop spiraling in overthinking and start reconnecting with your own instincts.
You already have the answers.
Let’s get you back to the place where you can hear them.
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